SHINEE (Y) ! 
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Title : ---- End ----
I was watching 下一站, 幸福.. then i began to cry..
Imagine that i was a lonely girl with no friends and no guys would fancy. I was always alone..even though the guy i liked took the initiative to talk to me, but when other girls called him, he went straight to them.. I was too naive.. It was just pity..
I thought that this would be a good story for writing a song... Finally i had the inspiration. Then, when i look at myself... i thought that i was quite similar to the girl in my story.
I was someone that does not or should i say.. dared not reveal my real feelings to other people.. Always putting on a strong front. Smiling face.. I never really shown my sadness or anger right?.. When i get angry at people, i'm don't meant to show it.. i didn't want everyone to become unhappy because of it. But if i do, it only meant i had hit my limit.. I hide all my sadness and let them out silently at night. All i could do is to cry silently.. afraid that my parents would hear.. For years now..it has always been like this.. I kept everything to myself..
As i listen to 2AM's You Wouldn't Answer My Calls, i couldn't help but to just cry harder..I admit, this is the hardest i have cried this year.. All the sadness seems to form up again.. Even drinking water is hard for me.. I sat at the corner in between my bed and my wardrobe.. lying my head against the wardrobe wall..
Suddenly,i felt all the dreams, wishes and ambitions i had in the past were gone don't want to do anything now.. I just wanna be a normal person..
I was very conscious about how people look at me in the past. But now, i thought that being a lonely person wasn't such a bad thing either. Someone with no friends, no lovers.. Always by myself.. Isolating myself from the outside world.
As i cry, i now understands why some teens when faced with problems that they cant take it, they would think of suicide. I was someone who was afraid of death, always thinking where would i be after i die.. But now, when your heart is empty, filled with sadness..death wasn't such a scary thing either.. Now i understand why they would thought of ending their lives. In the past, i thought they are foolish people. Life is precious, just because of little things, they wanna end it.
Now, my head hurts from all that crying.. and my eyes are swollen too.. Tonight, i cried myself to sleep..
*EXTRA* Through one night, i understood alot of things.. why onew would cry, why taemin crys toos and why jonghyun wants a girlfriend. Being a celebrity is really tough huh? All alone by yourself, no family or friends beside you when you need them..Now i don't mind at all that Jjong has a girlfriend. Cause i understand...
// Phrase that represent my feelings now? ; That strong person you know, is gonna let her tears flow down today.
Imagine that i was a lonely girl with no friends and no guys would fancy. I was always alone..even though the guy i liked took the initiative to talk to me, but when other girls called him, he went straight to them.. I was too naive.. It was just pity..
I thought that this would be a good story for writing a song... Finally i had the inspiration. Then, when i look at myself... i thought that i was quite similar to the girl in my story.
I was someone that does not or should i say.. dared not reveal my real feelings to other people.. Always putting on a strong front. Smiling face.. I never really shown my sadness or anger right?.. When i get angry at people, i'm don't meant to show it.. i didn't want everyone to become unhappy because of it. But if i do, it only meant i had hit my limit.. I hide all my sadness and let them out silently at night. All i could do is to cry silently.. afraid that my parents would hear.. For years now..it has always been like this.. I kept everything to myself..
As i listen to 2AM's You Wouldn't Answer My Calls, i couldn't help but to just cry harder..I admit, this is the hardest i have cried this year.. All the sadness seems to form up again.. Even drinking water is hard for me.. I sat at the corner in between my bed and my wardrobe.. lying my head against the wardrobe wall..
Suddenly,i felt all the dreams, wishes and ambitions i had in the past were gone don't want to do anything now.. I just wanna be a normal person..
I was very conscious about how people look at me in the past. But now, i thought that being a lonely person wasn't such a bad thing either. Someone with no friends, no lovers.. Always by myself.. Isolating myself from the outside world.
As i cry, i now understands why some teens when faced with problems that they cant take it, they would think of suicide. I was someone who was afraid of death, always thinking where would i be after i die.. But now, when your heart is empty, filled with sadness..death wasn't such a scary thing either.. Now i understand why they would thought of ending their lives. In the past, i thought they are foolish people. Life is precious, just because of little things, they wanna end it.
Now, my head hurts from all that crying.. and my eyes are swollen too.. Tonight, i cried myself to sleep..
*EXTRA* Through one night, i understood alot of things.. why onew would cry, why taemin crys toos and why jonghyun wants a girlfriend. Being a celebrity is really tough huh? All alone by yourself, no family or friends beside you when you need them..Now i don't mind at all that Jjong has a girlfriend. Cause i understand...
// Phrase that represent my feelings now? ; That strong person you know, is gonna let her tears flow down today.
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